Space Lizards Stole My Brain! by Mark Griffiths

Author:Mark Griffiths [Griffiths, Mark]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781471117909
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

‘You, Spratley, are the biggest bozo I have ever seen in my entire life.’

Mr Taylor shook his head sadly. The other boys were pointing and sniggering and high-fiving one another with glee. Rick Thrattle was laughing so hard he had had to lie down on the floor of the gym. His big belly wobbled as wave after wave of giggles coursed through him.

Admiral Skink glowered and tried once again to pull his head out. The hard wooden struts pressed painfully against his ears, but still he could not free himself. He sighed, his neck, back and knees all aching, and tried again.

‘Don’t do anything, Lance,’ said Mr Taylor. ‘You’ll only hurt yourself.’ He nodded at one of the other boys. ‘You, Oliver Lill. Go to the school canteen and ask them to give you some butter. Or margarine if they don’t have any. Off you go.’

‘Yes, sir,’ said the boy and sped off in the direction of the school canteen, smirking.

Admiral Skink could feel his face glowing as red and hot as the supergiant star around which his home planet revolved. Blushing was a new experience for him and one he had decided he could just as well live without. Trust these stupid mammals to have evolved so open a method of displaying their own embarrassment and humiliation. When a Swerdlixian lizard got embarrassed his face didn’t change colour so everyone could point and laugh at him, he blew spaceships up or incinerated his underlings until he jolly well felt better.

After convincing the female ape, Tori Walnut, of his true identity during their meeting in the library, the pair had hatched a scheme to reclaim the memory wafer from Cottleton Museum on the class trip tomorrow. All Admiral Skink had to do in the meantime was lie low and continue the pretence that he was an ordinary Earth schoolboy. He had tried not to meet Mr Taylor’s eye during the lessons that followed and he and Tori kept away from the other children during break and lunchtime, loitering at the edge of the playground and observing their games from afar. Everything had gone well – until now.

A prickling sensation started to creep across his face and neck, turning them scarlet. He feared his face might actually start to light up like an exploding supernova. His blood seethed in his veins at the sheer maddening unfairness of it.

Here he was, Admiral Skink, the Most Powerful and Deadly Warlord in All Creation, Vanquisher of the Ganthorian Battle Mammoths, Tamer of the Iggleflimpian Razor Termites, Supreme Scaly Prince of the Eleven Reptilian Star Systems, squatting on his knees in a school gym with his head stuck between two wall bars.

The final lesson of the day had turned out to be something called ‘PE’. The children were split into groups of male and female and filed off into two rooms. Admiral Skink watched as the other boys in his class changed into T-shirts, shorts and training shoes. He looked in Lance’s bag, hoping to

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